


Now Lay Me Down To Sleep

by Mariah Shepard (Vesania94)



Series: Rose Colored Glass: The Mariah Shepard Story [4]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mass Effect 2, Normandy-SR2, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 02:12:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11499588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vesania94/pseuds/Mariah%20Shepard
Summary: Shepard hasn't been sleeping.Alternate title: Why would you put a skylight in Shepard's bedroom?





	Now Lay Me Down To Sleep

 

Night time on the Normandy was quiet. Almost too quiet, Garrus thought as he packed up the last few tools that he had. The battery wasn’t as quiet as the rest of the ship, with the clink of metal on metal, and the hum of the engines that sat below. The lights had dimmed about three hours ago as the ship went into ‘night mode’. Everyone else was asleep. Or, at least, that was where people were supposed to be.

He could smell the sweet, almost sticky scent of vanilla soap as she knocked on the battery door.

“Mariah.” Garrus turned and cocked his head, waiting for her.

She poked her head out from behind the door, eyes lowered toward the ground as she pulled the oversized t-shirt she was wearing slightly lower on her thighs. It was as ratty as it was tear-stained.

“I…” She started, stammering. He watched her closely as she started to shake, arms wrapped tightly around her middle.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, reaching a hand out to her. Her lower lip trembled as she shook her head, pushing her hand hard against her eyes, wiping away tears. He looked at her. Really looked at her for the first time since she had picked him up on Omega. 

How had he not noticed how exhausted she looked?

She had lost weight. To be frank, she looked emaciated, with the bones of her wrist standing out in stark contrast against her too thin arms. Dark, bruising circles had formed under her eyes, beyond the swollen and red tinge of hours of crying.

“Have you even slept yet?” Garrus asked quietly. She didn’t answer, swaying slightly on her feet. “Have you slept… at all?”

She looked at him, eyes burrowing into his. He wanted to flinch, to look away, but he couldn’t. 

“There’s… a skylight,” she whispered, finally breaking his gaze. He was confused, but she continued, shivering despite the warmth of the battery. “In my room. Over the bed.”

“A skylight,” he repeated skeptically. He realized his mistake as soon as she looked back up at him, shame coloring her cheeks a beautiful, but miserable pink. “Oh. Oohhh.”

“Who thought of that?” Mariah sobbed, clutching her arms around herself. “Who in their right mind– who thought that was–“ She started to pace, hands rubbing her arms, moving up to her hair that hung lank around her shoulders, tugging at its strands as she pulled tangles out of it roughly. 

Garrus took hold of her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks. “So you haven’t slept… at all?”

“Not in there, and not while sober,” she whispered, her body tensing. “I look up and all I see– all I can hear–“ she paused, shaking her head as though she could clear the images from her mind. “I can’t breathe. I look up and I can’t breathe.”

“Mariah–“

“I know!” She interrupted him, pushing off of him with her hands, trying to break his grip. When that failed she started to pound her fists against his chest. It was half hearted. He knew that. She was lashing out with what little irritation she had left in her, and it wasn’t much. “I know I should be taking better care of myself! I know I drink too much! I know I haven’t been eating! I know I need to sleep! And I know that I should just move on from getting spaced! I know!” The tears sprung anew as her fists hit him one more time, resting on his armor as she started to crumple in on herself.

For once, Garrus found himself at a loss of what to say as this remarkably powerful woman crumbled in on herself, like a riverbank that had seen one too many floods. She felt frail under his hands as she sunk into him, her entire body shaking as she sobbed. He felt at a loss for the appropriate reaction. Talking seemed… wrong, but the reaction that he felt was right seemed almost too intimate. They were… friends, right?

She sniffed, rolling her eyes slightly as she looked up at him, smirking through the tears that still shone on her cheeks. “I can hear you thinking Garrus,” she croaked, coughing afterwards. “Whatever it is, I can take it. Even if you think I’m a moron.”

He stared at her quizzically, before bending down and capturing her in a hug. He could feel her breathing, feel the tension in her shoulders and the warmth of her skin through the thin fabric. He felt her laugh roughly and shake her head, the ends of her hair tickling against his arms and face.

“You are not a moron, Mariah,” he whispered to her. She nodded against his shoulder, hiding her face. Her breathing turned shaky for a moment as she steadied herself.

“Thanks Garrus.”

She started to slip out of his grasp, pulling away from him. She almost wobbled as she started walking out of the door, leaning up against the metal as she caught herself.

“Mariah?”

“Hmm?” She turned and looked at him again, an eyebrow raising in question.

“Would you want to sleep with me tonight?” Garrus asked, walking towards the door, and her. “Err, that sounded…wrong. I mean, would you like to sleep in my bunk? Because there are no windows,” he explained, knowing that if he had been a human, he would be as pink as a summer flower.

She laughed. Genuinely laughed. He had forgotten how much he missed that sound, the shockingly un-Shepard squeak that was her laugh. He didn’t remember the last time he had heard it properly.

“I couldn’t have you give up your bunk for me Garrus,” she giggled, shaking her head.

“Mariah. You need to sleep,” Garrus warned. It sobered her up a little, earning him a heaved sigh of defeat.

“Fine. But you have to promise to wake me up before the lights change. I don’t want to have to do a walk of shame when I haven’t earned one,” she huffed.

The walk to his bunk from the battery was a short one, a tiny unused room off of the port hold. It was orderly, and clean. He opened the door for her as she started to wobble again, eyes finally starting to droop. She made a beeline for the bed, scrunching herself up into a corner with a pillow, curling in on herself like an infant. Garrus balked a little.

“Get undressed Garrus. I’m not going to look,” she muttered sleepily. He chuckled, slowly starting to undo the connections that held his damaged armor together. It took him moments, with well worn straps coming off with practiced ease. It fell to the floor with a bang as he piled it up, turning to the bed to make sure he hadn’t disturbed her.

She was fast asleep, hair splayed around her face and caught on her lips, the faint glow of red from her cybernetics leaking from the scars on her face and neck. Carefully, Garrus brushed the strands of hair out of her face, tucking them behind her ear. It was the first time since they had met back up, that she looked truly at peace.

If anyone deserved that, it was her.


End file.
